Just Wait: The Unexpected Magic of Motherhood
By Jessica Coleman
Pregnancy Anxiety and the Fear of Losing Myself
When I found out I was pregnant, it was a shock. A lovely shock, but still a shock. It took me a while to get my head around it.
At the time, I was enjoying backpacker-style trips each year, adventure holidays, and spending my time boxing, training in jiu-jitsu, working out, enjoying festivals and music concerts, visiting friends around the UK at weekends, and attending many, many booze-filled events.
My initial worries were all about the social side. What about the weddings coming up that year? The holiday in Ibiza I was so looking forward to? What about my honeymoon, which was just around the corner? Was I really going to wine country without a sniff of wine?!
Once I started getting my head around the life changes coming my way, including a year totally off the booze, I started to calm down. Ironically, I have since chosen not to go back to drinking at all.
But as my pregnancy became more obvious, I started hearing those dreaded “just waits.” You know the ones.
I’d say I was planning a trip to Spain after the baby was born, and I’d be met with, “Hmmm, just wait until the baby is here. You won’t want to travel anymore.”
I’d be at the gym and hear, “Oh, just you wait. There’ll be no time for this once the baby is here.”
It seemed that every time I mentioned something I loved, I would hear another “just wait.” Another thing to be nervous about. Another thing to dread.
Finding Adventure and Joy After Becoming a Mum
Once I had my daughter, yes, life changed. For me, going from zero to one child was a crazy switch. It took a while to settle into things. But after a few months, I found my flow.
I found that baby-wearing allowed me to hike.
I found that nature helped us bond.
She loved the ocean, so we swam together.
I slowed down because I was taking the time to show her things for the first time: the different types of flowers on our walks, the sound of the birds, and the feeling of sand. I’d explain what each thing was and let her explore it.
It was as though every day I saw more magic than I had before she came along because I was literally introducing this tiny human to the world. And I mean, wow, what a gift!
By the time I was pregnant with my second, I was so confident that none of these comments got to me. I knew the beauty and the fun waiting on the other side.
For me, being a mum to two felt immediately “right.” It was double the magic of before.
I’m currently writing this as a mum to a three-year-old and a one-year-old, having just come back from a morning spent balancing them on surfboards at the beach. It’s just the best!
Changing the “Just Wait” Motherhood Narrative
Those “just waits” really tried to trip me up before I had my girls. In hindsight, I felt so annoyed that they had made me feel so anxious.
I wanted to add another kind of “just wait,” with some of my own, so I wrote a poem.
Hopefully, it reassures some mummas and mummas-to-be and offers a different perspective because there really are so many amazing “just waits” coming!
A Poem About the Magic of Motherhood
Just Wait
By Jessica Coleman
Just wait, they laughed at me.
You can’t do that, you’ll soon see.
Just wait, they said.
You’ll change, you know.
But they didn’t explain to me how I’d grow.
And now, you see, I don’t understand,
As I reach for your tiny hand.
What they said was wrong, not aimed at me.
We hike mountains! We swim in oceans! We climb trees!
My “just waits,” they sound more like:
Just wait until you take them on your bike.
Watch their face as the wind billows past,
And you see their joy as you go fast.
My “just waits,” I’ve figured out,
Focus on what it is all about:
All that you get to experience together,
Showing them the fun you can have in stormy weather.
When they learn to walk or hold a pretty shell,
Explore some mud, a taste, a new smell.
So yeah, I guess, “just wait,” I’ll say.
Just wait until you see
How magical motherhood can be.