I’m Not Impressive; I’m Just a Mom.
by Melissa Dykstra
I don’t think my situation is all that unique. I was a young woman, hopelessly in love with the outdoors, and society hadn’t really shown me a way to hike, camp, trail run, and travel with a child. At least in a way that seemed enjoyable.
When I looked around, most women in my life were barely surviving motherhood. They all clearly loved their children. But our dialogue was often peppered with those comments. You know which ones I’m talking about…
“Just wait until…”
Whether I was telling them about my race training, a new hiking trail I found, or a trip I was planning, they’d listen and smile. But when it was their turn to speak, it inevitably turned into, “Just wait until you have kids. You can’t do any of that stuff anymore. So enjoy it all while it lasts.”
So for years, my response was, “No, I’m not waiting for that, because I’m not having kids.”
And I meant it. I loved my life and myself too much to give up my adventures. They made me who I was, and I had zero interest in changing.
Until I did.
Discovering That Outdoor Adventures Could Include Motherhood
Fast forward to a few weeks after my 30th birthday. I felt the shift. I felt like every baby in Target was looking at me. When I looked at my husband, I imagined what it would be like to carry our child. I wondered what bits and pieces of our genetics would collide to make a new human. I still felt undeniably nervous, but more than that, I felt excitement.
I had no intention of giving up the things I loved most, but I wasn’t entirely sure what this form of motherhood would look like. So, like any modern woman, I turned to the internet, and what I found made me light up.
There were mothers out in the wild, with their kids! I saw women with backpacks that held their babies. Who knew those existed? I certainly didn’t!
Mothers setting up campsites with little chairs and sleeping bags. Children on the front of their mom’s kayak. Moms and their littles getting together in the mountains to enjoy fruit pouches with a view.
Image after image melted my hesitations. Adjustments would have to be made, and I would need to evolve, but the life I hoped for was possible. It was a comfort to know mothers who came before me had done it. And I was stoked to follow in their footsteps.
Staying Active During Pregnancy and Imagining Life as a Mom
I was extremely lucky to have a healthy pregnancy overall. I was tired the entire time, and the acid reflux really came for me in my third trimester, but I was able to stay active. I’ve been a Certified Pre- and Postnatal Fitness Specialist since 2021, and it was extra reassuring to put what I had learned into practice during my own pregnancy. I felt pretty positive.
I still had uncertainties. Becoming a mom is one of the greatest unknowns. We had moved across the country a few years earlier for my husband’s job, so we didn’t live near our main support system. My thoughts spiraled to concerns about loneliness, lack of help besides my husband, and not having someone who could relate to the type of motherhood I desperately wanted.
Nonetheless, I was pregnant. I had made the choice, and I had to have faith that I was just as capable as all the other adventure moms.
Hiking and Camping With My Baby in Our First Year
Giving birth to my daughter was the most profound experience of my life. It still brings a tear to my eye to think back on it. I had a newfound sense of respect for myself and my body. I felt empowered, and although I had diastasis recti and a second-degree tear to heal from, and sleep deprivation to work through, I knew I’d get through it. I knew my little girl and I would adventure together.
And adventure we have! We’ve hiked up mountains, spent nights under the stars, taken road trips just the two of us, and visited a handful of national parks. I also trained for a 25K, all before she was a year old. It took a lot of planning, determination, and willingness to pivot, but I’ve had an extremely fulfilling first year of motherhood.
People often praise me for the amount I do with my daughter. I’ve been told a few times that I’m “impressive.” While I appreciate the compliments, I struggle to accept them because I don’t necessarily agree.
I’m just an average—and I say that proudly—girl from the Midwest who wants to share these experiences with my daughter and continue my own adventures because it matters to me more than I can express in words. I believe the outdoors nurtures both of our souls, so I prioritize it.
The Messy Reality of Outdoor Adventures With a Baby
At times, my life is definitely messy and chaotic. I’ve left dishes in the sink and laundry in the dryer. I’ve cried from feeling overwhelmed and guilty. We have hikes where we only complete half a trail because my daughter is having a bad day.
On our road trip to Colorado, we had to skip some things at Mesa Verde I really wanted to see because it took way longer to get my daughter ready in the morning than I had planned.
But I feel like moments like these are unavoidable. No experience can be perfect, and I don’t regret any of my choices or the extra work involved. They’ve all been worth it.
Finding Myself and a Community of Outdoor Moms
This journey has led me to…well, me.
I’ve redirected my career as a fitness coach to focus specifically on pre- and postpartum women who want to prioritize outdoor activities. In the past, I never viewed myself as nurturing or motherly. Full transparency: I thought it would make me appear weak. I believe the opposite now. I’m stronger because I’ve allowed myself to soften.
I’ve also formed strong connections in a community of moms.
As I mentioned at the beginning, I’m in no way unique. I have found women with the same hunger I have to raise our children in the outdoors and still seek our own adventures. Together, we’re learning a different kind of patience, how to be flexible, and how to integrate our dreams with motherhood.
It’s been beautiful, and I’m glad I didn’t miss out on this.
It doesn’t take someone special to do these things. It just takes a mom who believes she’s worth it.
