Finding Flow: Learning to Love my Postpartum Body
By Nicole Fisher
Will I ever be an athlete in this body again?
That question swirled in my head constantly during the months after having my baby. I had once been a Division I water polo player, I won the first XTERRA triathlon I ever entered, I was a fast, fearless mountain biker. But after giving birth, I barely felt strong enough to hold a 20-second plank. My once-powerful body now felt foreign, I didn’t recognize it. My muscles were soft, my core felt disconnected, and my clothes were four sizes up from what I used to wear. I remember looking in the mirror, criticizing this new body covered in lumps and bumps, and wondering: Where did I go?
And yet, I had moved during my pregnancy, the best I could despite crippling nausea. I listened to my body and gave it gentle, daily movement. I hiked mellow trails. I slowed down enough to notice tiny wildflowers that I used to blast past on my bike. I certainly found beauty in slowing down, but something was missing. I wasn’t getting into that headspace I craved - the one where time disappears, thoughts go quiet, and all that remains is motion, breath, and presence. I missed flow state.
The Power of Flow
Flow state is that magical place where effort feels effortless. Where you’re fully immersed, focused, and energized. In flow, you’re not thinking - you’re being. Time doesn’t exist. Your body leads, your mind follows. It’s deeply peaceful, even in the most intense moments.
Before I became a mother, I found flow state easily - on the bike, on the dance floor, in the mountains. But after having my son, it’s as if my mind forgot what my body needed to feel like myself again. I felt a deep disconnect between the pure physical miracle of growing and birthing a human, and the reflection I saw in the mirror. It took months (if I’m honest - years) of questioning how to get out of my head and into my newly changed body. Of slowly, gently rebuilding strength and trusting that I will find my athleticism again. Of learning to respect a new baseline.
And then one day, months into my postpartum journey, I clipped into my pedals and dropped into a trail that I hadn’t ridden in over a year. It was nothing crazy - just smooth, flowy singletrack - but I found myself moving without thinking. My breath steadied. My eyes locked in. My body knew what to do. I was back.
That ride changed everything.
Reclaiming My Identity Through Flow
It wasn’t about speed. It wasn’t about getting my pre-baby body back (spoiler alert: I didn’t). It was about the feeling of flying, floating, being fully alive. I didn’t realize how much I’d been missing that part of myself until it returned. For the first time since becoming a mother, I felt like I was succeeding at something for me. I was good at something again, I was in my element. And in that moment, all the doubts about my body - the softness, the new shape, the extra weight - faded. I wasn’t thinking about how I looked. I was just being.
That’s the power of flow. It’s not about performance. It’s about presence. And when you find it again after birth, it feels like remembering who you really are. Getting back into flow after having a baby isn’t easy. You’re managing exhaustion, healing, hormones, identity shifts, and a brand new human. But it is possible, and it changed the trajectory of how I felt about my “shortcomings”. Rather than aiming to “get back” to where I was before my baby, I met myself where I was physically at in that moment and didn’t get overly competitive or critical of my imperfections. I started small, went slow, and celebrated the little wins. I truly tried my hardest to focus on the unbridled joy I felt when my mind was at peace with the space my body occupied.
A few tips for finding your flow:
For me, mountain biking puts me right back into flow state. Not the sports I feel I “should” be good at (like skiing, which I love, but it feels a little forced sometimes), but the movements that bring me peace. Choose the activities that feel natural. Sometimes I feel flow just by putting in my headphones and dancing to house music in my living room. Or maybe it’s yoga, breathwork, or even walking in nature - all of those can reconnect you to your body and ground you in the present moment. It’s all about getting out of your head and into your body. Give yourself permission to take the time and space you need to discover that mind/body connection again. When you fill your cup, you show up better for your child, your partner, your work, and most importantly, yourself.
If you’re a mother or expecting mother wondering if your body will ever feel strong, fast, capable, or beautiful again - this is your reminder: You never lost it. Yes, your body has changed. But you’re still in there. The fire is still there. And when you find your flow - whether it’s on a bike, a hike, or dancing with your friends - I promise you’ll feel like yourself again.
The experiences shared here are personal, not medical advice. Every body and every baby is different. Please consult your pediatrician or care provider before attempting similar activities. We encourage you to listen to your instincts and do what feels right for your family.